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By
Sr. Joseph Andrew Bogdanowicz, O.P. “Put
out into deep water and lower your nets for a catch” (Lk
5:4). Our Lord is asking us to do something. But who alone holds the
power to do it or not to do it? You and I do! God can plead throughout our
youth and indeed our entire lifetime but only we can answer Him
because of an amazing power called “free will” before which even God
Himself even bends. What
are some of the reasons young people begin to hear God calling them to the
priesthood or religious life but don’t answer that call? As the vocation
directress for our community, I’ve heard more excuses than I can count!
Let’s examine a few in light of the Gospel passage (cf. Lk 5: 1-11) the Holy
Father is inviting the entire Church to reflect upon as this new millennium
dawns, especially those in vocational discernment. “I’ll
follow my vocation—but later. Right now, I’m too young. I need to
experience the world first, have some fun, complete my education, get a job,
and see what the world has to offer.” You
and I hold the power over our own nets—our hearts. A temptation we might all
experience at some time is to fill our empty nets with other “riches”:
people, social entertainments, money, prestige, and all the false
allurements of this world. Then if we succeed thinking have filled our hearts
completely, there will be no room left for God. Ecclesiastes
teaches us that there is a time for every purpose under Heaven: a time to
discern and a time to decide and act. The timing, it seems to
me, for an individual to answer his/her vocation is held in God’s hands, but
it is important that we do answer Him and not put Him off with vague
excuses. If He is inviting you now to leave all things and follow Him, will
you R.S.V.P.? Or will you be more like the “rich young man” in Matthew’s
Gospel, who went away sad. Is your “net”—your life—half-empty or
half-full? Do you have the courage to open it wider so that Christ can
transform your life for all eternity? “I can’t do anything about my vocation now because I have too
many debts.” Have
you even begun trying to pay them off? Perhaps you should get a job and make
the commitment that once they are paid, you will immediately act on your
vocation. You might try asking some people or you know to assist you with
donations. There are many good people and organizations that are only too
happy to assist a person who wishes to enter the seminary or novitiate and is
in monetary need. But we first need to do our part and let God do the rest. In
all this, trust is the virtue before which all temptations must give
way in order to answer a call to a religious consecration. This trust
is never disappointed. Didn’t Mary Magdalene and the other holy women go to
anoint the Body of the Lord knowing full well that there was a huge stone
blocking the tomb’s entrance? They knew they couldn’t roll it back—so
why did they go? They trusted and they beheld the stone rolled away and
an angel there to greet them. For their perseverance and love, they were among
the first to whom the Resurrected Christ appeared. “I am not worthy. I’m not holy enough.” Read
the life of any saint and I guarantee you’ll find a recurring theme: Jesus
seems to always ask us to do more than we think we are capable of. No
one who has an authentic religious vocation would ever believe him/her self
worthy of it. But God chooses to use, in the words of St. Paul, the “weak of
the world to shame those who think themselves strong.” In any event, the
“worthiness” or “strength” of a religious vocation must be ascribed
completely to God Himself and not to the weakened humanity being called.
Still, each of us tends to put self in the center of the picture—where
instead we should be placing God. Just
listen to Peter’s response to Christ: “Master, we have toiled all night
and have taken nothing.” Such a pro-active fisherman’s view of things!
We toiled . . .. We took nothing. Peter still sees himself as
the source of all possible success. He had failed because he caught nothing
though no one could fish like he could! It is only by the power of grace
working within him, and his openness to grace, that Peter could
consent: “But at your word, I will let down my nets.” Peter decided to
open himself to Master. He echoes Mary’s fiat of “be it done unto me
according to Thy will.” He is learning the contrast between the
active life he has led up to this point of his life and the deeper depths of
contemplative prayer. Peter
is also learning the meaning of the angel’s words to Mary, “With man, it
is impossible. With God all things are possible.” In this dramatic scene of
the miraculous catch, Peter’s dependency on God is rewarded with a sharing
in Divine power—His very life. Thus begins Peter’s inner journey that will
culminate in his being the first Supreme Shepherd of the Church and finally,
in his martyrdom of love.
“Not
yet. I’m still discerning and need more time.”
This
is perhaps the largest group of young people with whom I communicate: people
who do not seem to be able to make a decision. They always think that they
need more time. More time for what? Time to decide; time to visit a
multiplicity of convents or seminaries; time to get everything in perfect
order including family, friends, long-range plans; you name it! I am more and
more convinced that we ought to start a support group for those caught in this
category—the “Perpetual Discerner Club.” It
is not my intent to poke fun at those who discern for a long while. After all,
the decision of one’s life-long vocation might be the most difficult
decision of all. In truth, if I could, I would certainly try to assist these
discerners to make some kind of a decision for I have witnessed the agony they
endure. No one would question that a certain amount of prudent and prayerful
discernment is necessary—but not a lifetime of it. Of
what might a truthful discernment process consist? I offer the following
suggestions. Men should visit seminaries and experience the seminary life
close-up to see if it seems to “fit” God’s plan for them. They need to
ask good questions of priests, to begin an honest spiritual life that includes
a disciplined balance of prayer, frequenting the Sacraments and Holy Mass,
spiritual reading and daily examination of conscience. It is an excellent idea
to begin regular correspondence with a priest-friend who also may, but need
not, be one’s spiritual director. Women
need to visit convents so that they get a better idea of the reality of
women’s consecrated life. They should make retreats that lead them into
authentic holiness. Like men, they need to balance her life of sacramental and
personal prayer life, spiritual reading, and daily examination of conscience
and begin a healthy, holy correspondence with a religious sister-friend who
may or may not be a member of the community which the woman aspires to enter.
Naturally, it would be better if she communicated with a Sister who lives the
community life and spirit to which she believes she is being called but I
would not consider that a necessity. Any honest vocation director only desires
that God’s plan for each young person be found and followed. What
should you do if you recognize yourself in the “perpetual discerners club”
and you want out of it? The answer might be simpler than you’d think. If you
think you might know God’s will, simply embrace it as best you can. If,
however, you honestly don’t know God’s will and you are putting forth the
prayer and effort you should to discern, then never give up. Had
Peter given up after his first failed attempt at fishing and not had the
courage to go back out and try again; he might not have become the first Pope
of the Church. Sometimes it is just when we are about to give up that, in
God’s timing, our nets are just about to be miraculously filled—even to
the breaking point—the breaking point of our personal joy. God stretches the
heart and we grow by just letting God be God!
Letting
God Be God
To
let God be God is to allow Him to make us saints; to allow Him to fill us with
that holiness which is the wholeness for which we were created. Joy
greets those who aspire to live on the same page as God. Others who do not
understand may call them “radicals,” “dreamers,” visionaries” or
just “ridiculous.” But imagine for a moment the immense transcendent joy
of living the priestly vocation as “another Christ” or the beautiful life
of a woman who has been called to be a “Spouse of Christ”! Who among us
would ever feel worthy, prepared, ready? We
all know the happy ending of this fishing story by which Peter’s life was
changed forever. After the obedience in faith, they caught a great number
of fish and their nets were tearing. Others were asked for help. To rely
on God often means that we will awaken to a new vacuum in our lives—a space
that can only be filled when others are let into the deepest places of our
lives, of our hearts. We learn to trust God and our neighbor simultaneously
because both require of us the humility of a “little one” who knows his
own neediness and isn’t frightened by it. Recall Peter had to ask for help
for amazement at the catch of fish seized him. A
quote from an ancient homily for Holy Saturday brings home this comforting
thought for those who might be still awaiting the “resurrection” of
knowing the specific vocation to which God is inviting you: Rise from the dead for I am the life of the dead. Rise,
let us leave this place, for you are in Me and I am in you. Together we form
only one person and we cannot ever be separated. Be not afraid to cast
your net for a catch far beyond all your wildest imaginings! Remember, he who
casts, finds! Sr. Joseph
Andrew Bogdanowicz, O.P. is the Vicar General and Vocation Directress of the
Dominican Sisters of Mary, Mother of the Eucharist in Ann Arbor, Michigan. This
article is an adaptation of a talk given at the IRL 2002 National Meeting. For
an audiotape of Sister’s complete talk, contact the IRL Office at
773-267-1195 or send $6.00 + $2.00 S&H to: Institute
on Religious Life, P.O. Box 410007, Chicago, IL 60041. |
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